How Do Emotional Intelligence Skills Help Children?

“Young people with high EQ earn higher grades, stay in school, and make healthier choices.” “EQ predicts over 54% of the variation in success (relationships, effectiveness, health, quality of life).”

- Psychology Today

Watch: A Message for Parents

Social Emotional Learning

According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), social and emotional learning (SEL) is the process through which children and adults understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.

Emotional intelligence is at the core of SEL. While SEL is a concept primarily explored by educators, parents have a major role to play coaching their children for EQ. In this manner, parents and educators can work together to ensure a future of success for all children.

Emotion-coaching is the key to raising happy, resilient, and well-adjusted kids. 30 years of research shows that it is not enough to be a warm, engaged, and loving parent. We also need to emotion coach our kids. Emotion-coached kids tend to experience fewer negative feelings and more positive feelings.

- Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, by John Gottman.

For children emotional intelligence is CAUGHT not TAUGHT.

A parent cannot teach their child something they have not learned themselves. This is the reason we teach EQ skills to parents and children at the same time. We involve educators to support children in class and parents to support them outside of class. This creates a community of emotionally intelligent role models for the children.


According to Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who helped to popularize emotional intelligence, there are five key elements to EQ:

  1. Self-Awareness

  2. Self-Regulation

  3. Motivation

  4. Empathy

  5. Social Skills

YouEQ has integrated Goleman’s framework, along with other popular models, while adding our understanding of how emotional intelligence applies to mental health and performance.

Emotional intelligence can become a tool for parents and educators to coach children for SEL and emotional maturity. We teach emotional intelligence skills to parents and children using our Performance EQ model.



Coach Children through Academic & Social Anxiety

This requires self-awareness and self-regulation from the parent for the child. By coaching children through their emotions in academic and social settings, children develop resilience which is also known as “grit.”

Resilience also benefits a child’s long-term mental health. Experts like John Gottman present studies showing that kids who feel "respected, valued and loved" show all the positive signs of emotional intelligence, with less suicides, premature sexual activity, and drug addiction.

Intervene as Emotion Coaches

Two-hundred twenty-six kindergarten to 3rd grade children identified—with elevated behavioral and social classroom problems from a population-based screening—participated in a wait-listed randomized trial of the Rochester Resilience Project. Children were taught a hierarchical set of skills: monitoring of emotions; self-control /reducing escalation of emotions; and maintaining control and regaining equilibrium. Children receiving the intervention averaged a 46% decrease in disciplinary referrals and a 43% decrease in suspensions during the 4-month intervention period. 

Coach Children for Emotional Responsibility & Maturity

By coaching for emotional responsibility in the areas of motivation and empathy, children develop a foundation for future skills such as leadership, social influence, team dynamics and citizenship. When a child is coached to trust their feelings and take responsibility for them, they develop high self esteem, learn well and get along with others.

Emotionally intelligent parents and educators know there is a difference between feelings and behaviors—all emotions are acceptable however all behaviors are not. Coaching for emotional maturity means teaching boundaries and training children to use their own EQ skills to be happy and healthy.

YouEQ Neuro-Gamification for Parents & Children

YouEQ adds game dynamics to brain training for emotional intelligence. Parents, children and educators play together. Learning is fast and fun—which the kids love and affordable—compared to traditional forms of childhood intervention. Participants have access to certified trainers who are also parents and teachers with experience as emotion coaches.

Parents and educators are also welcome to get certified.